More Than These?

What is it about new that is so appealing?  I can remember the first days of school each year with all new notebooks, backpack, folders etc.  Each year I would be determined to take better care – write neater, not mark it up, etc.  Same with a new car; I am committed that I will wash it more often and not spill anything.  I will do better this time. Until the new wears off, and while my intentions are good, the actual doesn’t go as well.

I will do better this time. I think of the many times I’ve said this to God. I let you down again, Lord. I’ll do better.

I can picture the eyes of Jesus – kind yet knowing. You see, Jesus knows the rest of the story. He knows that while my intentions are good, I’ll mess up again down the road. The kind, knowing eyes say, “I appreciate your intentions, and I’ll be here always, even when you are disappointed because you find yourself back here again”. 

Of all the characters in the Bible, I feel like Peter was put there just for me. While I think of John as the sweet and kind disciple whom Jesus loved, Peter is the one that I can see Jesus looking at and saying, “here we go again”. Good old Peter.  I relate to Peter.  I get Peter, and I think Peter would get me. Why?  Because Peter messed up, and needed grace multiple times, just like me.   

Peter had denied Jesus three times. Of course, Jesus knew Peter was going to deny Him, and had told Peter so. Now Peter is disappointed in himself and cannot discuss it with Him. Jesus is going to the cross. Jesus is going to die, and Peter feels he will never get that opportunity to make things right.

After Jesus was crucified and rose again, He sent word for the disciplies to meet Him at the Sea of Galilee, Peter makes a statement, “I’m going fishing”. I picture Peter down and tired, emotionally, physically, and spiritually spent. He sees fishing as something that made him comfortable.

Fishing was Peter’s pre-Jesus love. There is an implicit danger in this action of Peter going fishing. It's an "I’m going to what brings me comfort outside of Jesus" action.  It happens to us. We get down and think "I’m going to quit and go back to my old self, my old ways, my old loves."

The thing is, Jesus knows Peter is struggling and He knows when we are struggling. Jesus does not see Peter as a failure, and He surely doesn’t want Peter to quit on Him.

It is so important that we recognize that the feelings Peter experienced, the failure, guilt, and shame were not because of Jesus. Jesus never disowned Peter as His disciple. Jesus had predicted it would happen, and when Peter was acting proud that he would die for Jesus, Jesus told Peter he would in fact fall in denial. It was Peter that gave up on Peter, not Jesus.  This is so important.  Jesus does not give up on you.  You give up on you.  You may give up on Jesus.  But Jesus does NOT give up on You.

Why do we feel that if we fail, then God is no longer able to use us?

We are all imperfect people, and every one of us will fail at some point. But God does not quit on us.  He restores us each time – he offers His hand to pick us up – dust us off – and make us new.  Again.  And again.  This, my friend, is grace.

So, the guys all go fishing.  And after they had fished all night with nothing to show for it, Jesus appeared to them from the shore.

^{John 21:4} Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.⁵ He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?” No,” they answered.⁶ He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

Even though they don’t recognize Jesus, they follow His instruction to throw out the nets again.  This time, they caught a huge number of fish. Realizing this was Jesus, Peter swam to shore while the others bring the boat and fish. Jesus already had a fire going and invited them to join Him for breakfast.

This story should seem very surreal to Peter – very familiar.  Why?  This was the exact way that Jesus had called Peter to be a disciple.

Luke 5 ¹One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. 2 He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. 3 He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”5 Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”6 When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break... 10 Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” 11 So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

I do not think it is coincidence that Jesus appears to Peter in the same way He had appeared before. 

I imagine Peter probably feels that he isn’t much use to Jesus right now.  Jesus needs someone more reliable and faithful, someone who would not deny Him, fail Him, or disappoint Him. 

Seeing Jesus appear just as He had at the original calling had to have stirred emotion in Peter. I imagine that emotion could go one of two ways, a reminder of how he had failed Jesus, or a reminder of how he began.   

15 When they had eaten breakfast, Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said to him, “you know that I love you.” “Feed my lambs,” he told him.

After breakfast, Jesus speaks to Peter. Jesus calls him by Simon instead of Peter. Is this an indication that Jesus no longer thought of Peter as a rock? Or is Jesus bringing Peter back to the beginning, as a do-over?

Jesus asks him, “Simon, do you love Me.” He uses the agape word for love, meaning does Simon love Jesus with a sacrificial kind of love.  And good old relatable Peter responds with phileo, meaning I love you as a brother, which just isn’t the same level as an agape kind of love. 

Jesus added, “more than these”, and while we cannot see what Jesus was actually referring to, we can guess it was either the boat and fishing or the other disciples. Is He pointing back to the boat, fishing, familiarity/comfort this lifestyle could bring to Peter?  Is he referring to Peter’s love in comparison to the other disciples when Peter told Jesus in Matthew 26:33 that even if the other guys desert you, I will never desert you?  “Peter, do you still think you love more than these guys do?”

We know that whatever He was referring to – it was for Peter to assess if there were things that he loved more than Jesus. 

What area is there in our lives that we let God know, “I love you, but I don’t know that I can love you more than these things”

We know what the answer SHOULD be.  But most people, if honest, would have to admit there are things we love more than Jesus, even if we don’t want to. 

And Jesus said, “Feed my lambs,” meaning, “take care of my people”. 

16 A second time he asked him, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord,” he said to him, “you know that I love you.” “Shepherd my sheep,” he told him. 17 He asked him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved that he asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” “Feed my sheep,” Jesus said.

Digging deeper into Simon’s heart, the Lord asked, “Do you love me?” He again used agape. Perhaps a little confused, Peter responded as he had the first time, “you know that I love you.” He again used phileo.

Just as Peter denied Christ three times, the Lord raised the question a third time. By this point, Peter could not miss the connection. I can imagine him closing his eyes, feeling that connection, and realizing what was happening, feeling a storm of shame and guilt collide with restoration and grace.  Relief.  Love. This time, Jesus altered His question a bit, because when He asked, “Do you love me?” He used phileo, Peter’s word for love that signified something less than total devotion, questioning if Peter had even that level of love. He met Peter where Peter was willing to be at that time.  Peter wasn’t ready for that commitment yet.  Peter had oversold himself just a few weeks earlier when he said he would die for Jesus, but then he failed.  Again, Jesus is willing to meet Peter where he is right now.  Jesus is saying – I’ll take what you are willing to give for now.  But we KNOW Peter reaches Jesus’ level of love.  It just took time. 

Jesus had presented him with three opportunities to cross out the three earlier denials.

Peter again acknowledged that he loved Jesus. Jesus knew Peter’s heart. He understood that despite his denials and failures, Peter really did love Jesus. Jesus challenged again, “Feed my sheep.”

The goal here for Jesus is not to make Peter re-live his failure and make him feel guilty, but to remove the feeling of guilt that lies deep in Peter’s heart. Jesus is restoring Peter’s heart.   

Peter was going to be a major figure in the early church, and Jesus needed him to understand that he was still useful. Imagine yourself in this picture.  Jesus knows what He needs you to do, and He needs you to understand that you are still useful despite the very things that keep you from feeling useful.  An ugly past, lack of confidence, a heart weighted with guilt are all ways Satan tries to keep us from feeling confident to be used by God.  Don’t let anything keep you from fulfilling what Jesus has for you to do. 

Jesus knows that Peter will eventually have a sacrificial agape love for Him.  For now, phileo love will do. 

By accepting Jesus’s charge to care for His flock, Peter’s future would change dramatically. Ultimately, Peter would be crucified.  

God loves us with an agape love of total commitment. But for most people, the best we are willing to give is phileo, a brotherly love, but not one of sacrifice.   

For so many Christians, the love we are willing to give God does not meet the “more than these” level, meaning I love God, but there are things I love more. Jesus knows the intents of our hearts, and He knows where our loyalties lie. The most important question we will have to answer again and again is, “do you love me more than these?”

My walk with Christ is a bumpy, sometimes crawling attempt to follow Him. At times His presence is so real I can’t stop the tears, but then there are times, I can’t even seem to find Him. Some days my faith is strong, and some days my faith is weak.

I am messy, and I fail, just like Peter.

I will admit that the “love me more than these?” scares me. 

“Do you Agape Me?” No, I’m not there yet, but I want to want to be. (yes, you read that right). Sometimes I don’t have the “want to”.  And I want to want to. But what it takes is hard.  It’s during this self-evaluation that I can get real and honest with God, and He tells me “Good, we are getting somewhere. Let’s work on you.” “I believe Lord – help my unbelief”.  That’s real.